Velasquez also has peripheral ties with Australia, one slightly more unusual than the other. In the UFC's only visit to these shores, on February 10 of this year at Sydney's ACER Arena, Velasquez knocked out the extremely experienced heavyweight campaigner, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, in 2:20 in the main event. Cain also reportedly became engaged to his partner in Australia on that trip. Presumably it was a fairly romantic fight. When the mike is mightier than the mitt

ONE of the regular highlights of the UFC cards is the colour commentary of US Fear Factor host, stand-up comedian and MMA practitioner Joe Rogan. His help is routinely invaluable in enlightening otherwise baffled civilians as to why the D'Arce choke is called the D'Arce choke, and how it might be transformed into that apparent non-fashion item, the ''Japanese necktie''. (No idea here, but apparently anyone shopping for menswear in Tokyo ought to be fairly clear about what they're asking for.)

On Sunday's UFC 121 show, midway through the final round of what had become a fairly static undercard fight, main caller Mike Goldberg, enthused, perhaps a tad optimistically, ''It's going to be a race to the finish here!''

Rogan responded, in a distinctly unconvinced tone of voice, ''Hopefully …''

This recalled one of the great pro-wrestling commentary calls by one-liner king Jerry Lawler. During a particularly uninspiring televised ''bout'' that seemed to be getting nowhere at considerable length, Lawler attempted to instill some energy into the occasion by intoning, with great feigned excitement, ''This match could go on all night''. And then undid his good work to hilarious effect, by adding, seconds later, ''Much to my chagrin.''

Perhaps the finest fighting sledge of them all stemmed from an undercard heavyweight bout on a televised card from Dallas Brooks Hall many years ago, called by the late Ron Casey and Johnny Famechon. A local boy - from memory, Mark Ecimovic - was fighting a rather portly heavyweight from Fiji, named, if recollection serves, Niko Degge. After a few rounds' worth of Ron wondering why the local fighter didn't dig his opponent in the considerably prominent target area of his stomach, Famechon finally ''bit''. ''Well, Ron,'' opined the former world featherweight champion, ''He's probably afraid of losing his glove.'' The strange case of big-hearted Ayman

READERS may have seen reports concerning the death of US swimmer Francis Crippen during an open water World Cup race in the United Arab Emirates, from what race officials described as ''overexertion''. UAE swimming association executive director Ayman Saad shared his peculiar version of condolences in an Associated Press report, and everyone concerned may have been a good deal better off if he hadn't bothered.

''We are sorry that the guy died, but what can we do?'' Saad reportedly announced, with entirely undetectable sensitivity. ''This guy was tired and he pushed himself a lot.''

If ever similarly tragic circumstances were to arise on Saad's watch, one hopes someone might at least push a piece of paper into his hands with the name of ''the guy'' written on it. Noting that the water temperature at the start of the race was 29 degrees, Saad saw fit to add that FINA rules only cite the specifications for a minimum water temperature. The words ''time and place'' come to mind for some reason. Whoever first arrived at the expression ''Let no man write my epitaph'' presumably had someone very much like Ayman Saad in mind. Big grandstand in the sky

MAYBE this qualifies as one of those ''only in Australia'' kind of things. A death notice in one of yesterday's papers mourned the passing of a particular gentleman. He was described in all the terms one might expect - ''loving husband and father'', ''special friend'', ''happy memories''. And then, right down the bottom, in bold print four times as large, stood those final stirring words of memorial, ''GO PIES''.Goal well within reach

ROGER Federer has said the tennis season should be shorter. Quite frankly, with his money, he can have as short a season as he wants. He could retire and have a season consisting of no matches whatsoever. Quite frankly, he could sit at home playing that giant alpenhorn he was mysteriously given for winning a tournament once, and someone would probably pay him to do that. WELL-CHOSEN WORDS Correct weight on astral plane

''Weight-for-age is not a handicap - it's a different kind of being.''

- Simon O'Donnell, Cox Plate day, Nine, October 23

Large mantel required

''You're an ornament to yourself.''- Wayne Schwass to Matthew Richardson, SEN, October 25

Non-fighting words

Mike Goldberg: ''Check out the UFC Fall Apparel line.''

Joe Rogan: '' The UFC Fall Apparel line - I never thought I'd hear those words.''

- Ultimate Fighting Championship ''UFC 121'' commentary, Main Event channel, October 24

Much of population now eligible

''They are all young blokes who were picked because they wanted to play and have the same background as anyone else.''

- Mick Malthouse, re Australian international rules side, October 24