* Appeals for common sense: "If they told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?" The teenage brain is still developing. The pre-frontal cortex, responsible for planning, impulse control, forethought and delay gratification is going through a restructure, so these type of rationalising conversations do not work.

* Self-sacrifice: "We work all the hours God sends to put food on the table ..." Parents who behave like stress martyrs for their children forget to show them that being an adult can be fun. The teenager ends up not wanting a life like theirs: stressful, exhausting and always at work.

* The unanswerable question: "How was your day?" This is a complex question for teens struggling to manage raging hormones, delicate relationships and identity issues, to answer honestly. Instead, be more specific: "What was the best thing that happened today?"

* Praising teenage boys: Do not say: "You did really well, but next time you could ..." They will only hear the second part of the statement. Keep it simple.

* Reassuring teenage girls: You do not need to solve all their problems. Do not dismiss their sadness or try to joke them out of it. Listen to understand before suggesting anything at all.